Photographed by Paul Madeley You've done the big bit. You've told your family. You've told work. Maybe you've been out ten years, maybe you're married. And yet someone at work asks what you got up to at the weekend, and before you've even thought about it, "my husband" has turned into "we". Nobody asked you to. Half the room wouldn't care either way. You did it anyway. If that sounds familiar, you're in good company. Loads of queer people still do this years after coming